Veni, et Destitutam
by NJCD
Summary: "He said he was leaving me something to remember him by. He didn't say it was this." (New update, added a prequel chapter...for those who have already read it, this other first chapter may clarify some things.)
1. Chapter 1

**So, I actually wrote 2 chapters for this, but one got deleted, so I just uploaded the second, but here's the first:**

* * *

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" Alli asks. I nod, "Yeah. Tomorrow." She turns away and walks down the hall. As I finish cleaning my locker, I sigh, hardly believing I only have one class left: English.

I smile excitedly, remembering Eli will be there with me. My smile immediately fades when I remember he'll be going off to college soon. I take a breath and release it slowly. The bell rings, but I stay at my locker, reminiscing._  
_

I can still Skype with him. But we won't be the 3 musketeers anymore. One of my best friends is going away to college. _Why do I have to like him? _I feel tears stinging at my eyes. "Hey Blue Eyes. I'm surprised you're not in class already. You're usually their before the teacher." I hear Eli joke from a few feet away, causing me to jump.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks, noticing my tears. I wipe them away, "I just...I don't want you to leave." He sighs, "I have to." I push the rest of my things into my bag, "I know." He turns me to him, "Why don't we take off...go to my place...and watch a movie?"

I smile, "Okay. Let's go." I smile big to myself, '_Alone time with Eli.' _We rush out of school, through the parking lot and into Morty without being seen. Once we're in his house, we lay on his bed and watch Twilight.

"This is the stupidest movie." Eli groans every 20 minutes. I sigh, "But it's cute and romantic." I add. He groans again. "Clare, what would you do if I kissed you?" He whispers. I freeze. Eli's just a friend ..I remind myself. But I like him. He sighs, "Sorry."

I turn to him, "I'd kiss back." I whisper, under my breath. He smirks and leans over to me. His lips brush against mine, then fully connect. He caresses my cheek and kisses me more powerfully.

Within minutes, I'm laying on the bed and he's on top of me. "Eli, take your shirt off." I whisper. He sits up, straddling me, and slides it off easily. Once our lips connect again, I feel electricity run through me.

He moves his mouth to my neck and sucks long and hard. Moving lower and lower, he does the same to my chest, moving my shirt down a little each time. We kiss for a few more minutes before Eli slides his hand under my shirt and moves it slowly up.

Minutes pass, and, by now, we're both only in our underwear. I trail my hand down, but Eli stops me and gets off me, "We should stop." He whispers. "S-Sorry." I mutter, embarrassed that I tried to touch him. He shakes his head, "What? No, but by the looks of it, we're going farther then we should."

"I want to." I beg. He smirks, "We can, if you want. But I don't want there to be any chance that you'll, like, regret this." I pull him ontop of me and, somehow, manage to slid his boxers off. He pushes his erection against my middle and drills at it. I simply lay back and enjoy it. "Clare. Do you really want to do this?" He asks, in a hushed whisper. I nod.

He unclips my bra and slides off my panties. "Wait." He mutters and opens his drawer. I hear him shuffle through it finally finding a condom. He struggles with it, trying to pull it on.

"Will it hurt? I mean, I know it hurts, but how bad will it?" I ask. He finally snaps the condom on and looks up at me, "Umm..it'll hurt...I don't really know how bad, but I'll be gentle, okay?"

I nod and lay back down. He hovers over me and slowly pushes in. It feels weird at first, then hurts horribly. I feel tears pouring down my face. And then it feels good.

Minutes later, Eli's slamming me into the bed. I reach my peak before him, but only by a few seconds. He collapses on top of me, trying to calm his beating heart. I give a little push and he rolls off me.

"Are we dating?" Eli asked. "It'd be too complicated with you in New York." He nods, in agreeal.


	2. Chapter 2

He sprints through the park, picking up everything he's allowed to: grass, leaves, twigs...anything, really. Jesse just turned 4, so my mom and I thought it would be fun to have a small, and I mean _small, _party at the park.

**_"I need to tell you something..."  
"Well? Spit it out, Blue-Eyes." His tone is_ _playful._**

"Momma, luh." Jesse holds out a tiny red ladybug. I'm hardly fascinated by the tiny bug, but to my son it was his entire world at the moment.

**_"I'm pregnant."  
He blinks, then looks angry, "Is it mine?" He demands._**

The ladybug flies away, but instead of pouting, Jesse waves to it and says, "Bye bye late-ee bug, see you later." I smile and pick him up, "Do you wanna go open your presents?" He nods, smiling.  
_  
**"Yes."**  
**"You're getting an abortion, right?"**_

"This one's from Auntie Alli." Jesse takes it and unwraps it to find a new lego set. He smiles and starts to open it, but stops to hug Alli, "Thanks."

**_"I...I was hoping you could come back..." I whisper, hardly sure if the microphone picked it up.  
_**_**"Come back. You mean drop out of college and come help a girl, who isn't and was never my girlfriend, help raise her kid."**  
_  
He finishes opening all his presents, including a tricycle from me, and climbs on, trying to pedal in the grass. "Honey, try on the sidewalk. Come here." I say, carrying him and his bike over and placing it on the sidewalk.

_**"O-Our kid..."**  
**He scoffs, "No. No, I want no part of this. I'm sorry, but I have a life now, Clare!"**_

I follow close behind him, making sure he doesn't fall. When I'm sure he's safe, I sit next to Jake. "He's adorable." He says. I nod in agreement, "He looks just like E-E...his dad..." Tears flood my eyes.

**Tears stream down my face, "I'm sorry...I haven't even told my pare-"**  
**"Well, when the hell did you figure all this out?"**  
**"2 months ago...maybe more."**

"Don't even think about him. He left you, Clare." I gather myself, "I know. I just...I know." He sighs, "He's a jackass."

**_"2 months? And you're telling me now?! We had sex over 4 months ago! How the hell am I just finding this out now?!"  
__"I'm sorry. Please, just be with me through__ this..."_**_  
**"No."**_

I bite my lip, "I know." "Mommy! Somebody died!" Jesse screams. We look up and see a hearse driving by. "It...it looks like Eli's..." I whisper. I turn away and watch Jesse try to play with one of his other gifts, a paddle ball.

_**"He's due on February 15."  
**__**"It's a boy?"  
I nod, "You'd know if you actually gave a crap."  
**_

"Clare...you may wanna..." Jake doesn't finish his sentence. I look up and see a man exiting the hearse. He has a white shirt with a tie on and long black hair. "It's...Eli." I whisper, standing up. Jake puts his hand on my leg, "Clare, don't. He doesn't deserve it."

_**He flinches, "You don't think this is hard for me? Fuck you!" He screams, suddenly enraged.  
He ends the video call.**_

I sit back down, "Okay...but..." My breathing is irradical, "Jesse, honey, come here. Be with mommy." He pushes his toys over to the bench and sits between Jake and I. I stare at Eli as he pulls out and colorful wrapped package out of the car.

_**"I went into labor 2 days ago. He's healthy, by the way."  
"That's great, Clare." He couldn't possibly sound less interested.  
**_

"Why is he here? Why would he come all this way?" I cry. Jake stands up, "Let's go. Come on, we can peel out of here before he even-"

**_"Don't you even want to know what name I decided on?"  
_**"_**Clare, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm trying to do my school work. I don't have time for your baby issues."  
**_

But in seconds, Eli is nearly at the bench. "Mommy, is he dead? He was in the dead car, is he dead?" Jesse asks. I shake my head, "No, honey. Go to gramma, okay?" He looks at me funny, but does as I say. "Clare?" I bite my lip and feel the tears prickle at my eyes. He stops next to the bench, "Is that him?" He asks, motioning to Jesse.

_**"O-Our baby..."  
"No."**_

"Why are you here?" I ask, finally looking at him. He Jake awkwardly stands up and goes over to Jesse. "Isn't it his birthday?" I stand up, "Yes, but what right does that give you to be here? You haven't helped me for the past 5 years! I had to go to highschool at the pregnant girl!"

**_"He's turning 1 in 13 days."  
_****_"That's great, Clare."_**

He shushes me, "Clare, please, I'm trying to make things right." I clench my eyes close, "Just...go. Please." He frowns, "I promised myself I'd try. I tried."

**_"You're not coming?"  
_****_"Nope."_**

He places the present on the ground and turns away, walking back to his hearse.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm sorry for making you leave." I say into the phone. "I'm still in Toronto." He responds. I smile, "He really liked the truck. He's in it right now." I smile at Jesse who's in his mini motorized jeep. "Yeah, well, I tried." We're silent for a moment, then I say, "Why now? Why do you take an interest now?"

"I finished school." I sigh, "Whatever, are you coming down?" He's quiet and says, "If you want me to." A smile spreads across my face, "I'd like that." "See you soon."

**_"Why can't you at least act like you care?!"_**_  
_**_"You need to get over this dream of yours that __I__ do."_**"Hey. He's still playing in his jeep." I tell Eli when he comes. He nods, "Cool. So, uh, how've you been?"

**_"I know you do. You-You-"  
"I don't."_**

"Umm, I've been fine, I guess. You?" He shrugs, "Good, I guess. So, does he know I'm his dad?" I shake my head, "No. I never told him."

_**"We made him together. It's not fair that you're not doing anything!"  
**_**_"Life's not fair, Clare. I gotta get back to this," He holds up a stack of papers,_**_ "Bye."_"Are you planning to?" He demands. "It depends." I respond. He lowers his eyes to Jesse, who's drives his car into the side of the house, "On what?" I sigh, "Whether you'll stay or not."

_**"I hate you! I hate you! Do you know how hard this is for me?!"  
**_**_"Give it up, Clare. I'm not being a dad."  
_**_  
_"With you?" I nod, slowly. He stares at Jesse, "What's he like?" I shrug, "He's really mellow. Sometimes, he gets frustrated, but he's really amazing."

**_"He wants to see his dad."  
"I told you: I do not want to be a_ _dad._"**

"He looks like me." I sigh, "Well, even if you deny it, you're still his father." He takes my hand, "I'm done denying anymore." I flinch my hand away, "Don't."  
_**  
"What the hell do you want?"**_  
_**"I-I wanted to talk..."**_

"Sorry..." He whispers. I nod, "It's fine..." "Mommy, why is the dead man here?" Jesse asks, finally noticing Eli, who raises his eyebrows. "He came to visit. And he's not dead, honey." "But...But he's dwives a dead car." I smirk, "He's just weird."

**"Eli...come back to bed."  
****_"Wh-Who's that?" I stutter._**

Eli playfully glares at me then turns to Jesse, "I'm your...your..." He sighs and turns to me, with pleading eyes. We're silent for a moment, then I say, "This is your daddy." "My daddy's dead?!" He cries, causing Eli and I to laugh.

**_"That's my girlfriend. Who I'm about to have sex with, so get it out of your fucking head that I want anything to do with you."  
_****_I sob uncontrollably for hours after_ that.**

"No, he's just weird." Eli laughs this time, as does Jesse. "Kiss!" Jesse yells, suddenly. "What?" We both asks. "If your my daddy and your my mommy, kiss!" Eli turns to me and gently kisses my cheek. "On the lips!" He says.

_**"I'm sorry." His words are slurred.  
**_**_"Are you drunk?"_**

Eli shrugs, "I wouldn't mind, ya know?" He whispers. I take a deep breath and kiss Eli quickly. Jesse giggles, "Eww!" Eli turns to him, "What? You've never kissed someone?" A little smile crosses over his face, "I kissed Jace." He giggles uncontrollably.

_**"Yes, but, I'm sorry."  
**__**"I can't, Eli."**_

"Oh? Who's Jace?" Eli asks. I frown, "Umm, Eli-" Jesse giggles more, "My boyfriend!" He cheers. Eli's eyes pop open wide, "Your...Your boyfriend?" I turn to him, "Uh, Eli, he's-" Eli smiles, "You have a boyfriend?" Eli asks.

_**"But I said I'm sorry."  
**__**"No."**_

Jesse nods, "Wanna see a picture of him?" Before giving Eli a chance to answer, Jesse rushes inside. "He's gay?" Eli asks, looking at me seriously. I nod, slowly, "I think. Sorta...yeah, he is." Eli creases his forehead, "Wow. Cool." He says.

_**"Haha, we-we switched places. You said no this time. Anyways, I'm coming back, okay?"  
**__**"Whatever, Eli, call me when you mean it."**_

"So...what are we now? Are we together?" He adds. "Are you coming back?" He smiles, "If you want me to." I close my eyes, considering it.

**_"When you called..."  
"What are you talking about?"_****_  
_**

"Mom! Mr. Dead Ma-er, dad!" He holds out my iPhone and shows a picture of Jace. He takes the phone and looks at the picture of the little blond haired boy. Smirking, Eli looks at Jesse, "He's adorable."

**_"I'm sorry for hanging up earlier."  
_****_"What do you mean?"_**

Jesse nods, but suddenly looks upset, "Mommy thinks so, too, but she says we shouldn't hold hands in public. Someone called us a bad name once, and mommy made us

**_"You called earlier...when you were drunk."  
"Oh. Your point?"_**

"Some boys called them 'faggots'" I whisper to Eli. He frowns, "That's not fair. Boy's shouldn't be calling you that, Jesse. Why don't we go out tomorrow? Me, you and Jace? And you can hold hands and kiss and whatever you want to do."

**_"You said you were sorry."  
"I was drunk."_**

Jesse face lights up, "Imma go call him! Mommy dial the number!" I take the phone, smiling, and dial the Lite's number, "Here you go, sweetie." He takes the phone and runs off.

**_"Yeah, but you said you we're coming back."  
"I was drunk."_**

I lay against Eli, "I can't believe you care now." He apologizes a couple of times. "I know I was horrible, but every time I thought about you being pregnant or having _our _kid, I panicked." I nod, "I know...it just hurt so bad to have you say all that."

**_"I forgive you. If you come back now, we can go on being happy and together."  
"I didn't mean it. I was drunk."_**

"Can I stay here tonight?" He asks. I nod, slowly. He stands up, "Where should I-" "Anywhere. I have a guest bed or you could stay with me." I whisper.

**__****_"I know. I just want you to know that there's a room for you here and I'll always welcome you."  
"Alright, Clare."_****  
**

"Thanks."


End file.
